No matter how busy your lives are, don’t forget to make time for some quality lovemaking. Enjoy being lovers! Take your romance a little further, and create an amazing hot bedroom romance together!
If you would like some easy tips on how to make your bedroom feel like a very romantic place, have a look at my Romantic Bedroom Ideas.
When it comes to good lovemaking attitude and knowledge about each other is just important as technique.
To help you heat things up for real, I have made this list of 10 very good expert tips. To me they are simply the best tips you can get. You may be surprised…
- Know your lover and yourself
What are your desires, fantasies, likes and dislikes? Before you can become great lovers, you have to know yourselves. Do you? Think about it...
Michael Webb, Oprah's love expert, really underlines the importance of this. He even wrote a book just for this purpose, his
500 Intimate Questions For Couples.
So get to know yourself. Get to know your lover. And let your lover get to know you. Trust is a must for this. You need enough trust to be vulnerable and open up to each other.
The more fun you make it, the easier it is. That is why I love bedroom games. It’s such a great way to share your intimate thoughts and secrets. It’s fun and exciting, and incredibly enlightening!
- Understand the opposite sex
Good lovemaking is not so much about technique. It is more about understanding how the male and the female body and mind feel and work during foreplay and lovemaking. Men and women are different in so many aspects.
Our bodies can react very differently to the same things. We are turned on by different things. Take some time to learn about these differences. To really understand how your lover’s body and mind works.
This is so important that Michael Webb dedicated an entire book on the subject in his Virtuoso Lover trilogy. Here’s a very good article by him on this topic:
Real Secrets to Sexual Mastery
- Become masters of foreplay
Setting the mood for lovemaking with scented candles, music, and maybe even some rose petals is perfect for good bedroom romance. But it takes more than that to create spark between the sheets.
Become masters of flirting and teasing. Become masters of seduction. Become masters of turning each other on. Make sure you get those bodies excited and ready for what’s coming next. It’s fun and it really pays off!
Orgasm expert Jason Julius talks about the importance of foreplay in his Orgasm Arts videos. He says that a woman can feel many times more pleasure from intercourse when she is really turned on before it starts. And that is so true!
For a woman to be able to experience an amazing orgasm, she simply has to be completely aroused before intercourse. With that little fact on the table, it is safe to say that when it comes to hot lovemaking a real foreplay is a must!
Knowing this, any man who wants to give his woman as much pleasure as possible during love making will value the importance of foreplay. And any woman who wants to experience great pleasure from lovemaking will never let her man skip it!
Here is a HOT article by Gabrielle Moore, author of “Turn Her on Faster” and “Female Orgasm Secrets Revealed”:
Sexual Massage Techniques
- Make love with your body, mind, and spirit
Be fully present in the moment. Be there in body, mind, and spirit. It will make a huge difference not just for you, but also for your partner.
Gentlemen, don’t just focus on cumming, enjoy the ride too! Ladies, don’t think about what’s on TV tonight, or what groceries you need!
Be in the moment and focus on what you are doing and feeling right now. Be present in every single moment, every single second. Consciously feel every movement, every touch, and everything that is going on. Use all your senses.
According to Karinna Kittles-Karsten, expert on sexuality and sensuality, this is a very important step towards igniting sexual passion in a relationship. If you can master this your bedroom romance will be much more enjoyable!
- Feel good about yourself
If you want to be great in bed you have to feel good about yourself. You have to embrace your own sexuality and love your own body. You have to accept yourself just the way you are.
The more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you are. The more relaxed you are, the more you will enjoy the experience. And so will your partner! This is especially important for the ladies, as we tend to never be completely happy with our bodies.
I have a recording of a very enlightening interview of Alex Allman, author of Revolutionary Sex. He really points out the importance of this. He says that the absolute number one thing that makes a woman great in bed is that she is comfortable with her own body and sexuality.
He also talks about how woman feel that men judged by their physical beauty. And that cannot be denied. But, according to Alex, physical beauty counts nowhere near as much as women believe it does.
So, start accepting yourself! And why not give your partner some compliments? Give them in general, give them during foreplay, and during lovemaking. A little compliment can go a long way!
- Experience the real female orgasm
All women can experience the big O! But as you have probably understood by now, there are many things that influence in a woman’s capability to reach an orgasm.
Ladies, get to know and love your own body. Know what works for you, what turns you on and what brings you over the edge. Learn to clear your mind, leave all worries behind, relax and just enjoy yourself!
Gentlemen, learn how to get your lover really excited. Explore her body, play with her and learn exactly what she likes and what turns her on. Learn how to turn on her mind. Understand how her mind and body work together, and what it really takes to give her an explosion of pleasure!
Here is a step by step guide, another article by Gabrielle Moore. As you may have noticed, she is one of my very favorite sex education experts! : )
How to Give Her an Orgasm
- Experience the joys of oral love making
Oral love making can be really amazing. It can be such a gift of love! If you haven’t yet experienced the pleasures of giving and receiving good oral sex in your relationship, you are really missing out!
We all know men love to get head. And for women, going down on her is usually the absolute easiest way to give her an orgasm. John Alexander, author of “Be Her Best Lover Ever” even says that cunnilingus is the most important skill a man can have in bed. And yes, oral love making is fantastic!
For some good tips, here is one of his articles for you: “The #1 Skill That Makes You Great in Bed”
Now, for most people the receiving is easy to enjoy. But, it is important to enjoy giving oral sex too. First of all because you shouldn’t do anything you don’t like doing. But also because you will actually give much more pleasure if you actually enjoy giving it!
In a survey, thousands of men were asked what makes a blow job really good to them. And believe it or not, it wasn’t all about technique. The absolute number one thing was actually if the person giving it was enjoying it.
The same goes for women. She will not be able to relax and truly enjoy it if she thinks you don’t enjoy going down on her.
If you feel insecure because you don’t really know what to do, or how to do it right, don’t worry... you can learn! What I did to feel more confident was to simply read about it. I read Michael Webb’s
Blow by Blow.
He has also written
Lick by Lick
Learning about the different techniques, and more importantly what NOT to do, made me feel much more confident and relaxed. It was great!
So go for it!
An alternative to oral sex
If you really don't like the idea of going down on your lover, don't worry! Here is a very good alternative: Master using your hands!
(This is also a great alternative for variety, for those who do engage in oral pleasure.)
For the ladies Bedroom Romance
You can give your man just as much pleasure, if not more, if you know how to give him an awesome handjob. According to a survey Michael Webb did, 82% of the men he asked would prefer an awesom hand job over a good blow job any day!
For the gentlemen
You can give your lover incredible pleasure if you know how to use your fingers!
Read what Gabrielle Moore says about fingering.
- Don’t get stuck in a routine
Routine can kill the joy of any bedroom romance. It is always good to try new things. To quote Michael Webb's article 5 Tips for Passionate Hot Lovemaking:"If I could give you only one piece of advice for better love making, it would be this: become adventurous and creative."
Have fun with some bedroom games. Try different positions. Get some toys or props. Have sex in new places. Have fun and spice things up!
I like to use Michael Webb's
500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets
to get lots of ideas.
- Go for dirty talk in the bedroom!
A little dirty sex talk goes a long way to heat up the bedroom romance. It’s easy to learn and can really spice up your lovemaking. It’s much more fun than silent lovemaking if you ask me!
To quote Evan Michaels, the author of
Dirty Talk Handbook,
“… once you’ve mastered the art of dirty talk, you`ll find that your sex life is better than ever before.”
When you talk dirty during sex you are basically telling your lover what you like in the sexiest way possible. It’s the perfect way to communicate while you make love. And it can be a huge turn on for both of you. So let go and have some fun!
Ladies, you may feel a little reluctant to do this. But I assure you, once you get started it will become the most natural thing to do! And most men absolutely love their woman talking dirty to them.
So just start off slowly and keep on practicing. Soon you will feel more confident start to enjoy more and more.
- Last but not least; relax, go slow, and enjoy the ride!
Tense lovemaking is bad lovemaking. So relax and let it be natural so you can enjoy it. Do what you want to do, not just what you think you should do.
If you get too hung up on technique and your performance you can lose sight of what really matters; Enjoyment and pleasure. Focus on how amazing it feels. John Alexander, author of “Be her best lover ever”, makes a big point of this.
Don’t get me wrong though. It’s great to learn some good lovemaking techniques. It’s just not great to be too focused on them. If you try something new, make sure you don’t try too hard. It takes all the pleasure away!
And guys.... Go slow! There is no hurry in good lovemaking. You can’t enjoy the ride if you are running a race. And neither can your partner. So breathe and slow down. Yes, breathe! Michael Webb really points out the importance of proper breathing in the second book of his Virtuoso Lover trilogy.
Notice of how you are breathing when you make love. Are you taking deep and regular breaths? If you breathe slowly, slowing down will be much easier. And you will start to enjoy the ride much more.
If you take all these expert tips to heart, I am absolutely convinced that your bedroom romance will never be the same again!
I hope you found my Bedroom Romance enlightening and inspiring. If you have any great tips for bedroom romance that you would like to share, please let me know. Just click here to send me a message.
Feel free to tell me about your experience using any of these tips for a better bedroom romance. I would love to hear from you!